Clothes Make The Man

Well, enough already, for now at least, with the religious stuff. I’m sure that readers are running for the hills after all that swooning about “numinous beauty and harmony”, etc. I had to make what I think is an important point, and I will return to it, I’m sure, before long, but for now, back to shallow-minded drivel, and lowbrow japery.

It’s Fashion Week here in Gotham, and every morning on the way to the midtown skyscraper where I arrange ones and zeroes for pennies a day, I pass by the big white tents in Bryant Park. West 40th Street, between Fifth and Sixth avenues, is a buzzing hive of activity: news trucks, electrical equipment, reporters, caterers, fashion groupies, menials in various dusky shades, and of course the models, who are easy to spot: they’re the ones whose tuberculosis is apparently so advanced that they’ve been unable to eat for weeks.

Anyway, each morning as I pass by I gaze in wonderment at these elaborate temporary structures, which for a few magical days turn our charming little park into the Olympus of couture, knowing that within this temple of style — a venue that, for a homely schlub like me, is as inaccessible as the seraglio of Suleiman the Magnificent — the Illuminati are gathered to give the sacred codex of Fashion its equinoctical update.

As I trudge past this glittering palace to spend another day shackled to my oar, my heart is aflutter with curiosity. What will be on the runway today? What delicious flights of fancy are taking wing, to the delighted gasps of the fortunate few?

And the most important question of all: what will I be wearing this fall?

Well, wait no longer, friends. Have a look.

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5 Comments

  1. They look like boggarts that have been successfully riddikuled.

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted September 9, 2007 at 11:42 pm | Permalink
  2. Hmmmm:

    Nut-huggers
    Straight-jackets
    Toilet tissue fly away skirts
    “Union suit” styled cod piece button down trousers (so subtle!)
    Froufy bullfighter gear…

    Um?

    FOR WHOM, pray tell, are these designs intended?

    Posted October 2, 2007 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
  3. Malcolm says

    For the audience, and the critics. Not for me, at least, I’m afraid.

    Posted October 2, 2007 at 3:28 pm | Permalink
  4. Not one of those things could be parlayed into an outfit I’d see on Park or Madison, sported by businessmen… or even the more eccentric types.

    Posted October 3, 2007 at 12:25 pm | Permalink
  5. Malcolm says

    Nor is it meant to. It is a statement purely intended for those in the fashion community itself.

    Posted October 3, 2007 at 12:27 pm | Permalink