Snake Oil And Water

Feeling tired? Listless? Maybe all you need is some concentrated water. Just add water.

I was tipped off to this audacious scam by a recent item in the Washington Post about the high-end bottled-water business, and the enterprising hucksters who manage to lighten their customers’ wallets by as much as $480 for “special edition” bottlings of Adam’s ale (no, I am not making this up).

But for sheer moxie it would be hard to top the folks at Quantum Nutritionals, LLC., makers of Hydra Booster (i.e. water) — who inform us that most of us suffer from a collapsed Quantum Energy Field. Fortunately, though, help is on the way:

Hydra Booster Contains a Powerful Natural Polarity and Carries the Full Range of Frequencies Found in Your Body’s Quantum Energy Field.

For only ten dollars a pint, here’s what you get, according to Dr. Paul Yanick:

Hydra Booster transforms ordinary water into a liquid crystal state of coherent energy that harmonizes and strengthens the body’s Quantum Energy Field and innate healing capabilities.

A “liquid crystal state of coherent energy”. Wow!

(Here’s Dr. Yanick, in case you were worried that he might just be some sort of some smooth-talking flim-flam man who can’t be trusted:)

Nothing I could say here would do this “product”, or these people, justice: that, I’m afraid, would require some hot tar, a bushel of feathers, and a fence-rail, if not the nearest lamp-post. But do go and look at their website. I doubt very much, Dear Reader, that you are fool enough to hand over any of your money, but it will certainly take your breath away.

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One Comment

  1. I find especially persuasive the appearance of Dr. Joe Ferrara, Ph.D., who calls to mind a youthful, energetic, sexually magnetic Hugh Hefner.

    Or maybe, it’s Stan Lee that I’m thinking about.

    Possibly even Peter Parker — who despite his geeky nerdiness attracted M.J.! Not to mention Gwen Stacy, who . . . uh, died.

    Anyway, I’m convinced that the hydro-eclectic power will do me good.

    In fact, I just tried some from my private source, and it really does quench thirst! I’m even willing to sell some of my private reserve, which I feel works even more effectively than the stuff advertised at the link that you gave, Malcolm.

    Any buyers?

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted July 3, 2008 at 5:09 am | Permalink