On The Spot

In yet another alarming sign of accelerating environmental deterioration, astronomers have reported that Jupiter’s Great Red Spot, one of the outer Solar System’s best-loved natural attractions, is shrinking.

“I’m not surprised,” said well-known leaflet-wielding vegan subway pest Persephone Finch, when told of the recent diminution of the iconic gas giant’s most distinctive feature. “This is what we get for years of reckless corporate greed and Bush-era environmental policies. And for MAKING OUR COLONS A GRAVEYARD FOR DEAD ANIMALS,” she continued, her voice rising to a shrill, keening wail as she turned to address her sullen audience of weary commuters.

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3 Comments

  1. Robert Dennis says

    Damn! I thought it was because we were so reliant on foreign oil.

    Posted April 2, 2009 at 3:50 pm | Permalink
  2. Finally, some of that true fiction that I’ve been waiting for.

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted April 2, 2009 at 4:08 pm | Permalink
  3. Charles says

    I wonder if the Onion is looking for writers…

    Posted April 3, 2009 at 6:47 pm | Permalink