Great Success!

In an important step toward bringing the noble and vitalizing spirit of Juche to faraway worlds, the peaceable space program of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea took a great leap forward today with the launch of a mighty rocket, carrying a glorious payload of prosperity and self-reliance into space.

Meanwhile, the running dog lackeys of bourgeois capitalist imperialism have convened an emergency session of their paper-tiger “Security Council”, which will no doubt issue another of its meaningless “resolutions” for the children of our Dear Leader to ignore.

At a historic moment like this, we should all reflect on the immortal thoughts of our beloved Great Leader:

Let’s take revenge a thousand times on the US imperialist wolves! Let’s create a social impetus for enjoying wearing our national dress!

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  1. Kevin Kim says

    Have you ever thought that Kim Jong Il’s pompadour was a gift from Liberace? The Dear Leader is fighting a manliness deficit. It could be that Kim is shunting all that money from his poor citizens to test these missiles for Freudian reasons. A successful launch allows him to crow, “See? Our country has penis, too! Soon we have many penises!” Of course, when you’re firing missiles with names like “Nodong” …


    PS: “Nodong” is Sino-Korean for “labor.” “Taepodong” (which is actually “Daepodong” — it’s written with the Korean letter “D”) means “big cannon.” Nope. Nothing phallic there.

    Posted April 5, 2009 at 10:18 pm | Permalink
  2. Malcolm says

    Well, Kevin, all I know is that North Korea needs a “space program” the way Wyoming needs a navy.

    Posted April 5, 2009 at 10:29 pm | Permalink
  3. JK says

    Well Malcolm, Wyoming and NK do have needs you know. Perhaps NK can get these guys to come help move their Nodongs. Maybe get them to where they want them to go.

    Posted April 6, 2009 at 9:43 am | Permalink
  4. JK says

    You’ve got to admire the US Navy’s brilliant analysis:

    “According to the US Navy the highly unique North Korean satellite has entered subaquatic orbit in the Pacific Ocean, and is transmitting melodies of the immortal revolutionary paeans ‘Song of General Kim Il-sung’ and ‘Song of General Kim Jong-il’ on a 15 kHz acoustic channel.”

    Posted April 6, 2009 at 3:24 pm | Permalink