Exit, Pursued By A Bear

Today, according to this item, is Talk Like Shakespeare Day (i’faith, I had no idea). However, the clay-brained, knotty-pated flirt-gill who composed the headline for the link at CNN’s main page needs some remedial instruction, methinks. The text says, imperatively, “Speaketh Boldly on ‘Talk Like Shakespeare Day’” — but “speaketh” (and the ‘-eth’ suffix generally) is only an appropriate form for the third person, according to the Columbia Guide to Standard American English, which advises us to “use it correctly or not at all”.

I suppose, in a more generous mood, I might have borne it with a patient shrug, but suff’rance is not the badge of my tribe.

[Update: We get results, it seems; the headline has been corrected, and now says “Unleash thy inner bard”.]

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5 Comments

  1. Not sure why . . . but my KJV ear wants to alter that to “Unleash thine inner bard.”

    (And my modern self wants to correct your single quotation mark to a double . . . but I’ll refrain.)

    Jeffery Hodges

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    Posted April 21, 2009 at 6:47 pm | Permalink
  2. Malcolm says

    Yikes! Thanks, Jeffery. Now fixed.

    And you may be right about that (I imagine our Deogolwulf would know). It’s probably a good thing that Talk Like Shakespeare Day will be over soon.

    Posted April 21, 2009 at 7:00 pm | Permalink
  3. Malcolm, I decided to find out. The difference between “thy” and “thine” is the same as between “a” and “an” — so I was right (and now know why).

    Jeffery Hodges

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    Posted April 21, 2009 at 7:26 pm | Permalink
  4. Malcolm says

    And now, so do I. Thanks, Jeffery!

    Posted April 21, 2009 at 11:26 pm | Permalink
  5. I’ve made a shakespearean insult generator app for the iphone! check it out here: http://www.killersweetapps.com

    Posted April 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm | Permalink