Seriously?

We certainly have plenty of things to worry about already, I think most of you would would agree. To name just a few, we have an ancient clash of civilizations, with hot wars on two fronts and fanatical terrorists scheming in every shadowy corner of the globe; paranoid despots, who hate us, armed with nuclear weapons; a deeply polarized society here at home; a ravaged economy that, despite recent appearances, is likely to get far worse before it gets much better; the melting away of European society as it wallows forward under the deadly spell of doctrinaire socialist multiculturalism; the accelerating coarsening and trivialization of our own culture here in America; swine flu; earthquakes, floods, typhoons and tsunamis; unmapped asteroids that can wipe us out at a stroke; the Democratic Party; depleted fisheries; rainforest destruction; a floating island of garbage the size of Texas; the various religions of the world and their vexatiously incompatible fantasies; the Republican Party; global overpopulation, poverty and ignorance; AIDS; mass extinctions, increasing power and influence on the part of China and Russia; drug wars on our southern border and the erosion of free speech to our north; the end of the Maya calendar in 2012; the New York State Legislature; and of course the ever-present threat of a possible reappearance, without any warning, of Janet Jackson’s nipple.

So, given all this, you’re probably saying to yourself that the last thing we need is giant blobs of floating sea mucus. But here they are.

3 Comments

  1. JK says

    You forgot the 24 hour cable news cycle. And while I’m on the subject:

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,533080,00.html

    Posted October 15, 2009 at 1:55 am | Permalink
  2. JK says

    You did mention AIDs of course but how about “Earth clap?”

    Ever heard of “the lithospheric drip?”

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,522061,00.html

    Posted October 15, 2009 at 2:02 am | Permalink
  3. They look like the stuff I’ve been hawking out for the past two or three weeks.

    Posted October 15, 2009 at 10:30 pm | Permalink

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