Your Lips Say “Moo”, But Your Eyes Say Yes

Here’s something: Germany is planning to ban sex with animals.

This is not, mind you, because humans having sex with animals is something that a goodthinkful liberal society might wish to prohibit on any moral grounds. That would be discriminatory — and now that the universal acid of secular nihilism has dissolved away any foundation for moral judgment in polite society, the only sin that remains, the worst thing a person can be guilty of, is judgment itself.

No, the ban is being considered for the sake of the animals, presumably on the assumption that they are unable to give informed consent. Clearly, a failure to extend the prohibition against non-consensual sex to the animal kingdom introduces an impermissible discrimination between humans and animals, so it has to go.

I wonder if cucumbers are next.

3 Comments

  1. Cucumbers are OK because they’re plants. And plants, you know, can’t give consent.

    But you know they want it.

    Posted November 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm | Permalink
  2. the one eyed man says

    Your conflation of laws against bestiality with “secular nihilism” (as opposed to religious absolutism?) is mistaken.

    Do you believe that there should be laws against animal cruelty? That Micheal Vicks should be sanctioned, along with kids who bury cats up to their heads and run over them with a lawn mower?

    If so, then presumably you would also oppose the sexual abuse of our furry friends.

    Discrimination, informed consent, and the putative lack of moral judgment have nothing to do with it. It is nothing more than the power of the state being used to enforce basic standards of decency, which one would think would be applauded by conservatives worldwide.

    Posted November 28, 2012 at 11:16 am | Permalink
  3. Malcolm says

    Nicely done, Peter! In a single brief comment you have managed both to miss my point, and to illustrate it.

    Posted November 28, 2012 at 11:54 am | Permalink

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