An old friend, who lives in California, writes:
I spent hours on New Year’s Day attending online traffic school, and only passed by the skin of my teeth, as there was a serious language/grammar/thinking gap between me and the authors of the course. Here are just a few examples. I would have spent hours more if I’d transcribed any significant fraction of what was on offer.
Here are the examples he sent, all transcribed exactly as written:
‣ Having water and food will also come in handy should your vehicle brake down and have to wait a considerable period for health.
‣ There is a chance you may encounter some form of sickness during your trip.
‣ Leaving the appropriate between you and other cars on the road while allow the room to move in and out as need be to avoid accidents.
‣ These conditions may occur if you drive in the sun for too long.
”” headaches and affect your driving
‣ It is estimated that there are 211,000 drivers in the country. About 1/4th or nearly 50,000 (48,000) were killed in traffic accidents.
‣ Male drivers were involved in 80% of the traffic accidents in California
Nationwide, female drivers were involved in more accidents than men overall. In 2009, 23.5% of female drivers were involved in accidents.
‣ Usually people that make turns in wrong lanes or the wrong time are the ones causing a collision.
‣ Avoid making U-turns when you don’t have the right of way. Unlawful U-turns may have severe consequences, especially when you collide with vehicles larger than yours.
‣ All drivers will have the right-of-way on the road at some point or another.
‣ When you choose to ignore stop signs or red traffic lights, you are more likely to cause traffic accidents that can not only hurt you, but other drivers and pedestrians.
‣ You should not constantly honk your horn incessantly.
‣ Again do not use your horn as a tool to agitate others on the road. This can be very problematic and cause unnecessary problems for you on the road.
‣ It is very important that you have a spare time in your vehicle.
‣ As it is known as the emergency brake, it should be used in such situations where the computer system in the car brakes down totally.
‣ If you must use the parking brake in an emergency, never pull the lever too hard or you will lose.
‣ There have been many horror stories concerning people with broken down cars who have accepted the help of strangers with bad intentions.
‣ The horn is a very important component of your vehicle. You can use it:
””when your angry
‣ Another valuable skill for drivers is the ability to be able to turn a car in any specific direction.
‣ You cannot make a U-turn on a one-way road.
‣ You should perform three-point turns on busy streets.
6 Comments
Hey Peter.
I told you, you might remember, to ACH your DL renewal before it expired.
I see on the news today “No Worries” – just tell ’em you stole the Tesla/Prius and California’s *taxpayers* will manage the paperwork.
How was he able to transcribe so exactly? Did he secretly take cell-phone pics of the questions? Does he have an eidetic memory? My questions aside, some of those items are real howlers.
Hey JK.
No ACH for the DMV. You have to bring a paper check when you show up for the eye exam.
No Prius and no Tesla. I hate the Prius. It’s like driving a bumper car. I would love to have a Tesla Model S – specifically the one in burgundy with tan leather seats – but only as a second car. I have to drive to Sacramento for business, and I like to play golf at Pebble Beach, and both are far enough away that I would risk running out of juice on the way back.
I saw what should be the Arkansas state motto: Litterasy ain’t everything.
http://news.distractify.com/beth-buczynski/sarcastic-state-mottos/
Californicatia: “Where America’s dreamers settle for doing porn.”
Do you think this was written by an immigrant, whose English is a second language? Or by a young college graduate? I sort of hope it’s the former.
Don’t know, Dom. But if that’s the output of a college graduate, abandon all hope.