It’s all fun and games, until someone loses a leg.

I’ve seen the President cracking wise before, but never Mr. Romney. I have to say, he was downright Carsonesque.

Update: As is this.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s Victory Deals Blow to Unions

Read the caption carefully.

For those of us of a certain age and sensibility, Firesign needs no introduction. For the rest of you, there’s YouTube.

Two puzzles: NOT SO HARD and YES VERY HARD.

NOT SO HARD. Can you think of a food that becomes a synonym for “later” when it’s spelled backwards?

YES VERY HARD. I just wrote down a lower-case, seven-letter word–something you might consult with a lawyer about. I realized that if I added to the middle letter just the smallest of strokes, I would make a new word–something you might consult with a doctor about. What are the words?

WASHINGTON, Jan. 11 -

Michelle Obama, the first black woman to serve as First Lady, took to the airwaves recently to express her irritation at being characterized as an “angry black woman”.

Mrs. Obama could not be reached for comment, but a close friend and confidante spoke to this reporter, on condition of anonymity.

“As a black woman in America, Lord knows Michelle has plenty to be angry about, and of course with decades of academic and professional experience in this area, she is widely regarded as an expert in the field. But this “angry black woman” thing just really, really pisses her off. She’s trying to keep cool about it, but frankly I can’t remember the last time I saw her get so mad.”

Her friend paused.

“…well, not lately, anyway. But I’ve been out of town for a few weeks.”

Can you believe this guy’s 80 years old?

What’s that you say, boychik? You lack familiarity with the subject matter? Well relax, you’re mishpocheh, so for you, no charge. Look below the fold for a few free samples.

A man who has finally made it in business treats himself to a new Lamborghini. After buying it, he feels guilty so he goes to the Orthodox Rabbi and asks for a mezuzah for the Lamborghini.

“You want a mezuzah for what?” the Rabbi asks.
“It’s a Lamborghini,”
“What’s a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“A sports car.”
“What? That’s blasphemy!” the Rabbi shouts. “You want a mezuzah for a sports car? Go to the Conservatives!”

Well, the man is disappointed, but goes to the Conservative Rabbi and asks for a mezuzah.

“You want a mezuzah for what?” the Rabbi asks.
“For my Lamborghini”, the man replies.
“What’s a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“A car, a sports car.”
“What kind of sports car?” asks the Rabbi.
“Italian.”
“What? That is blasphemy!” the Rabbi shouts. “You want a mezuzah for a goyishe car? Go to the Reform!”

Again, the man feels guilty and disappointed, but goes to the Reform Rabbi.

“Rabbi,” he asks, “I’d like a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.”
“You have a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“You know what it is?” says the man.
“Of course! It’s a fantastic Italian sports car. What’s a mezuzah?”

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.” She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back! , and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Passover and paying their own airfares.”

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.”

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow from Minsk?”

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. “You are truly a wise rabbi,” they said.

“How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?”

The rabbi answered sadly, “My wife is from Minsk.”

While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.

“What are doing here with a dog?”
“The dog came here to pray,” said Bernie.
“Oh, come on.”
“No, really!”
“I don’t believe you. You’re just fooling around, and that’s not a proper thing to do in temple.”
“Its true, I swear!”
“Ok”, says the Rabbi (thinking he would call Bernie’s bluff), “then show me what the dog can do.”

“OK” says Bernie nodding to the dog. The dog proceeds to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book and starts reciting prayers in Hebrew. The Rabbi is so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.

When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. “This is incredible. Do you think your dog would consider going to rabbinical school?”
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says, “YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!”

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle from Washington to New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.
Just before take-off a portly Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs.
He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a coke.”
“No problem,” said the Israeli, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it.
When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.”
Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he was gone the Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it.
The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
“How long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?”

Want more? Well, here’s some more. Don’t miss the one about the talking dog.

But it’s too good not to share, so here it is. I hope some of you out there enjoy it.

Here.