From this evening’s Borowitz Report:
Yankees Sign Iraqi Hurler
Shoe-throwing Right-hander Impresses ScoutsIn their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.
The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of his shoes at President George W. Bush.
While neither of the shoes hit their target, both throws “had great velocity and good movement,” said Yankee owner Hank Steinbrenner.
“The first shoe was high and outside but the second one was right down the middle,” Mr. Steinbrenner said.
The Yankee boss said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi’s fighting spirit when Secret Service agents tackled him.
“That could come in handy when we have a series with Boston,” he said.
10 Comments
Actually, I was impressed with his accuracy as well. Had Bush not ducked the first time, that shoe would have hit him square in the face. The second toss was a little high, but still would have hit Bush on the top of the head.
Charles, what sort of pitcher throws beanballs?! This guy should be sent down to the minors until he learns to play by the rules.
No spitballs either. Despite Preacher Roe.
Jeffery Hodges
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He can be the next ‘Bare-foot’ Joe
I think he just wanted Bush to walk a mile in his shoes, to see what he has done to Iraq from the eyes of an insider…
or maybe it was a job offer to become a cobbler now that he is soon to be in a jobless condition, just as his policies have driven so many of us…
In any case I’ am sorry he missed -that would have been pretty funny…Bush’s foot is in his mouth so often someone else’s may have improved his usage of the english language…
Hi Pat,
You mean “Shoeless Joe”?
I have to say, Dubya ducked out of the way very nimbly…
Malcolm and all,
He, George, said that he wasn’t offended at all! These were the most harmless things thrown at him in a while if you consider the things said about him as ammunition also!
Jeanie
Too bad you used “The Other Shoe” as a title a few days ago. :-)
– M
Hi Mike,
Yes, I had the same thought.
My question is how long it takes until the shoes are on eBay.
This may surprise you, but I have come into possession of those ‘tossed shoes’ — several pairs of them, in fact — and am willing to auction them off to the highest bidders.
Gentlemen, start bidding . . .
Jeffery Hodges
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Do you also have the ruby red slippers from Wizard of Oz? Maybe you could sell them as a combo.