A Less Perfect Union

Our friend Jess Kaplan has sent us a link to an article in the Wall Street Journal informing us that according to a prominent Russian political analyst, the U.S. is about to fall apart.

The academic’s name is Igor Panarin, and in his view there soon will be, due to an “economic and moral collapse”, a civil war that will rend the nation into six pieces. This is going to happen very soon — by mid 2010 — and the result, we are told, will look like this:

According to the article, the shards of our Union will disperse their allegiences among various existing powers. Mr. Panarin explains:

He predicts that economic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.

California will form the nucleus of what he calls “The Californian Republic,” and will be part of China or under Chinese influence. Texas will be the heart of “The Texas Republic,” a cluster of states that will go to Mexico or fall under Mexican influence. Washington, D.C., and New York will be part of an “Atlantic America” that may join the European Union. Canada will grab a group of Northern states Prof. Panarin calls “The Central North American Republic.” Hawaii, he suggests, will be a protectorate of Japan or China, and Alaska will be subsumed into Russia.

“It would be reasonable for Russia to lay claim to Alaska; it was part of the Russian Empire for a long time.” A framed satellite image of the Bering Strait that separates Alaska from Russia like a thread hangs from his office wall. “It’s not there for no reason,” he says with a sly grin.

All I can say is that if the U.S. is going to “split along ethnic lines”, they are going to have one hell of a time divvying up Brooklyn.

Learn more here.

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8 Comments

  1. Is this satire from Professor Panarin?

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted December 29, 2008 at 4:06 pm | Permalink
  2. JK says

    What is it with all these guys that have a “P” leading their last names or titles?

    First you give us that Parowan Prophet guy (looks like I survived Christmas anyway) and now this what was it, a Russian Academic named something like, oh what was it, “Panama?”

    I wonder if Mr. Panama has lawn furniture like Mr. Prophet?

    Posted December 29, 2008 at 4:42 pm | Permalink
  3. Addofio says

    Place it a bit further in the future, and it would resemble a lot of science fiction. In fact, it might make an interesting premise for a science fiction novel. Only I’d split things up differently — I can’t see Idaho and California in the same sub-unit (knowing them both fairly well.)

    Maybe he’s wishful thinking. Or is trying to score points in the Russian academic system.

    Anyway, it’s an entertaining diversion from grading. Thanks.

    Posted December 29, 2008 at 8:43 pm | Permalink
  4. Malcolm says

    Reader JK has also pointed out in an email that this resembles the prediction made by “John Titor“, the alleged time-traveller from 2036.

    Jeffery, I have the feeling this isn’t satire.

    On the bright side, William Safire, in his annual round of predictions, expects the Dow to be back at 12,000 by the end of 2009.

    Posted December 30, 2008 at 12:17 am | Permalink
  5. pdg says

    As I wait 12 weeks to receive food stamps to carry me thru the winter and am told by my case worker that the system is not working to help the under & unemployed and I see the many many homeless folks crammed into the library to stay warm…

    After paying taxes for more than 49 years I see a pretty broken system these days…
    But also remain optumistic for better days ahead!

    Americans tend to get it done thru dire circumstances and poor leadership -whatever it is that lays us low gets reinvented to raise us beyond!

    Posted December 30, 2008 at 10:44 am | Permalink
  6. pdg says

    Yo- Brooklyn may be the new center of the known universe before youz guys are thru…

    It seems far more likely that Russia will get divied-up between the Chinese, EU and the US…

    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

    Posted December 31, 2008 at 2:36 pm | Permalink
  7. Frederik Von smellsburg says

    It’s mid-2010! What now?

    Posted July 2, 2010 at 11:37 pm | Permalink
  8. Malcolm says

    Actually, this whole thing seems a lot more plausible to me now than it did 18 months ago…

    There are others out there too.

    Posted July 3, 2010 at 10:57 am | Permalink