How High Is It, Jimmy?

Tuesday is Primary Day here in Gotham, and as a subscriber to our fair city’s newspaper of record, I have before me the New York Times 2009 Primary Election Voter Guide. It’s very helpful.

Among the positions up for grabs is that of Mayor, which has been filled for the past two terms by New York City’s wealthiest resident, Michael Bloomberg. Having shamelessly modified the city’s term-limit laws so as to allow himself a third tour of duty, he is going to be pretty hard to knock off his perch, but there are some highly qualified challengers who might give him a serious run for his money.

Chief amongst them, I think, is one Jimmy McMillan. Here he is:

And here, according to the Guide, is his C.V.:

Occupation: Rent Activist and Founder of the Rent is Too Damn High Movement

Occupational Background: Retired Letter Carrier

Educational Background: Degree in Private Security Investigations (c. 1989)

Very impressive, I’m sure you will agree. Here are selected entries, meticulously transcribed verbatim from the Guide, explaining exactly why we should support Mr. McMillan’s quest for Gracie Mansion:

1. What is the most important issue in the city you would address if elected?

Rent is Too Damn High Rent-Freeze-Rent-Reduction-Rent Roll back. (People must have money to spent.) Our plan will create 3 to 6 Million Jobs that will generate a 3 to 6 Billion Dollar surplus. Do the math an estimated 10 Million New Yorkers of Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Manhattan, and Queens will no longer have to put up with being harrass by “Landlord(s)” again. Not only the Bailout and Stimulus will give us the opportunity to lower rent. Landlords with Violations, Failed to Register Building(s), and Other…gives us another reason to lower rent. The party is over.

Rent Is Too Damn High.

3. What Makes You the Best Candidate For This Office?

Rent Is Too Damn High.

The man’s message, I think, is clear (it’s that Rent is Too Damn High, for those of you who didn’t catch it) and it should by now be obvious even to political observers far less astute than I that November’s result is a foregone conclusion. There are, of course, as President Obama recently admitted regarding health-care, some details still to be worked out — for example how, in a city of just over 8 million people, Mr. McMillan is going to create the 3 to 6 million new jobs that will allow “an estimated 10 Million New Yorkers” no longer to be “harrass” by Landlord(s) — but I very much doubt that even Mayor Mike, for all his billions, can offer long-suffering Gothamites such a horn of plenty.

Let the good times roll! Don’t forget to vote.

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One Comment

  1. Kevin Kim says

    Jimmy rocks.

    Posted September 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm | Permalink