Made In The Shade

I’ve been so busy of late spewing vile, reactionary, hate-filled, racist poison (or simple common sense, depending upon your point of view), that I have neglected another topic of critical import and urgency: butt-ugly deep-sea fishes.

No longer. Tonight I invite you to contemplate the stupefyingly unlovely Psychrolutes marcidus, known to bathypiscophiles the world over (you know who you are) as the incomparable Blobfish. Here he is:

This cheery little fellow lives in the deep water off Australia and Tasmania. You can see at once that he has a natural buoyancy, but what you probably didn’t know is that he achieves it not as most fish do, with an air bladder, but by virtue of a body made almost entirely of a viscous goo, with a density slightly less than that of water.

Unlike we bitter wretches who moil for gold here above, scratching a meager living from the stony soil, the Blob-fish lives a life of comfort and ease in the inky depths. Lacking, due to his gelatinous constitution, any muscle to speak of, he wallows in place without a care, dining on whatever floats by. Small wonder that he has such a merry twinkle in his eye!

Before we say goodbye, let’s peek in on our little friend one last time, as he waits happily for a tasty snack to drift his way: a juicy little worm, perhaps, or a nice piece of whale poo.

Au revoir, M. Blob-fish! Bon appétit!

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  1. Kevin Kim says

    Uncle Morty??

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 1:40 pm | Permalink
  2. Chris G says

    That fish looks like he’s thinking about something important.

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 4:52 pm | Permalink
  3. Malcolm says

    Glad somebody is. I’m thinking of giving it up, myself; it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth.

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 5:09 pm | Permalink
  4. I’m sure his mother loves him.

    Er, she does, doesn’t she?

    Oh no, tell me it ain’t so!

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm | Permalink
  5. Malcolm says

    Of course she does, David. Don’t you worry.

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 5:43 pm | Permalink
  6. He’s thinking:

    “Why was I banished to this Stygian darkness? I was only following orders.”

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 6:48 pm | Permalink
  7. bob koepp says

    Actually, as far as blobfish are concerned, this one’s gorgeous. And even a rather plain blobfish is handsome compared to a blogfish.

    Posted February 18, 2010 at 8:00 pm | Permalink