How’s It Going?

Well, it’s hard to feel cheery tonight, I have to say. Muammar Qaddafi, pausing on his way to martyrdom, is strafing his people, and blowing up oil pipelines. It is becoming clearer every day that the wave of “freedom” sweeping the Arab world is a disaster in the making. Europe watches aghast, bracing itself for a tide of human flotsam. Nuclear-armed Pakistan edges closer to ignition. Iran send its navy into the Mediterranean. World fisheries are in freefall. Christchurch, New Zealand, lies in ruins.

Here at home, the nation is cracking apart at the seams. Public-sector labor unions, having managed finally to kill the golden goose, march in open revolt against the taxpayers, while the legislators they own flee their state capitals rather than allow the will of the people to be done. With oil prices racing north as a result of chaos in the East, gasoline prices are rising fast, and economic markets are plummeting. Meteorologists predict record floods throughout the nation’s heartland, and the gigantic magma chamber under Yellowstone is expanding.

And right here in Gotham: smoking banned outdoors, and an epidemic of sidewalk rage.

Well, they say that all a person needs is something to believe in. I believe I’ll fix myself a drink.

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13 Comments

  1. Kevin Kim says

    Or several.

    Posted February 23, 2011 at 1:10 am | Permalink
  2. JK says

    Might you make mine a double?

    With a side of a tank of gasoline?

    Posted February 23, 2011 at 2:07 am | Permalink
  3. I feel your pain, even ‘over here’. Make mine a large, very cold, very dry, Dry Martini. Cheers!

    Posted February 23, 2011 at 9:25 am | Permalink
  4. Gwen Alter says

    Did I hear “cocktails?” I’ve got a new one I’d like to try out on you. Involving gin. And cucumber. And mint.

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 10:18 am | Permalink
  5. the one eyed man says

    Watch Jon Stewart on Governor Walker getting punk’d: that will cheer you up.

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-february-23-2011/crisis-in-dairyland—scott-walker-prank-call

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 10:37 am | Permalink
  6. Malcolm says

    Gwen! Nice to see you here. Make mine a double.

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 11:07 am | Permalink
  7. Malcolm says

    Pete, I don’t think that’ll do it for me.

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 11:09 am | Permalink
  8. the one eyed man says

    To quote my third grade teacher: just trying to take that frown and turn it upside down.

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 11:19 am | Permalink
  9. Malcolm says

    I’ll watch some Chris Christie videos.

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 11:48 am | Permalink
  10. the one eyed man says

    If watching CC doesn’t cheer you up, try this on for size:

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-24/u-s-leads-in-nobels-trails-in-alleyway-sex-commentary-by-caroline-baum.html

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 12:10 pm | Permalink
  11. Malcolm says

    Ah yes, glad to know how well we’re doing in the speakers-of-Spanish rankings. We’ve got the bronze, let’s go for the gold!

    Pete, stop trying to cheer me up, OK?

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Permalink
  12. the one eyed man says

    No problemo. (Working on my Spanish.)

    Posted February 24, 2011 at 12:35 pm | Permalink
  13. howsurprising says

    Union thugs.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesennis/5481571309/in/set-72157626154751212/

    Posted February 27, 2011 at 11:02 pm | Permalink