I find myself imagining a gathering crowd watching the Capitol from some safe distance as the frenzy increases inside, with the two houses of Congress joined by the President in a furious battle-royal. The mighty building starts to quiver and shake. Clouds of steam begin to rise, and the walls start to glow — at first a dull red, then brighter and brighter. As the crowd uneasily steps back, the shaking and shuddering become more violent, and are joined by a low, almost sub-sonic rumble. The ground trembles, and then with a loud crack! the building begins to sink into the earth, as the glow turns fiery orange.
Through the billowing clouds the crowd watches as the Capitol slowly disappears from view. Now the dome, incandescent, is all that can be seen … soon it too is gone. After a while the clouds and rumbling begin to subside, and the crowd moves closer. The earth has fallen in, filling the hole, and all that remains is a few wisps of steam rising through the soil.
Silence.
It’s all gone — Democrats, Republicans, Tea Party, Boehner, Reid, Cantor, Pelosi, POTUS, the whole enchilada. Done.
The people stand amazed for a little while. Then one of them says:
“OK. Let’s all go home, take a little break. Think about what happened here. And then we’ll try this again.”
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I think a lot of people are having this fantasy right about now. In my version, after the Capitol disappears into the smoking fissure, an enormous Satan rises out of the crack, engages in furious onanism, covers the entire locale in infernal, acrid goo, and cuts loose with a terrifying belch as the rest of the political structure melts and sizzles.
Surviving politicians run madly through the streets, but the Devil is too quick for them: with his massive claws, he plucks them off the asphalt, one by one, and stuffs them in his ass — foip-foip-foip — until not a single politician is left. With a satisfied sigh, the Evil One, having called his children home, sinks back into the bowels of the earth.
Say, that’s pretty good.
“…some safe distance…”
Thinking of visiting Peter?
Hopefully, the EO sinks with him the other evil ones in his own bowels.