Are you a bluestocking conservative appalled by the ill-bred riff-raff on the GOP ticket? Worried that those Tea Party rabble are steering dangerously close to the wind, with too much sail and too little keel? You’re not alone — the same concerns have darkened cocktail-hour chats from Amagansett to Edgartown, from Princeton to Pawling to Penobscot.
You’ll be glad to know, then, that a new champion has taken the field to bear the standard forward in 2012. The influential commentator Iowahawk has kindly offered his prominent website as the venue for our candidate’s formal announcement.
Read it here.
One Comment
I was beginning to lose hope – my beloved South (Arkansas in particular) not having a candidate the electoral band could, like a Snickers bar, with any degree of satisfaction, sink it’s teeth into.
But including mentions of both “warrior” and Brooks and Dunn will, without a doubt, fire up the NASCAR crowd.
And who in “Redneck Heaven” might’ve ever imagined our relief would arrive on Sarah’s polo pony in the form of such a manly man as a Northeasterner such as T. Coddington?
Any fellow with “Cod” in his name can only be an Evangelical’s realization that God in His Infinite Wisdom really hasn’t abandoned us as admittedly doubts began to creep in when guys dubiously monikered ‘Newt’ and ‘Mitt’ began to get the attention of the bigwigs.
‘Mitt’ mighta been acceptable – had kinda a baseball sounding ring to it (but we were not fooled, there was after-all his being friends with Warren Jeffs and their common blasphemy). A ‘Newt’? An obvious witch attempting to hijack The Divine Plan.
We thought we had our Intervention in the form of Rick from Texas – little did we know he’d managed Al’s campaign and worse, gave in-state tuition to illegals. In Texas itself, Arkansas’ very own neighbor! (Admittedly, Rick’s protecting our region’s fondness for 12 year old girls was neat – until we found out he was doing it in such a way that smacked of Obamacare. Obamacare!)
Mr. Voorhees? If you’re reading this – just a piece of Arkie advice. When you visit to outline The Vision, emphasize the “T” (we like initials as first names) but drop those Eyetalianisms and tell us the nurse who filled in your birth certificate made a mistake ’cause your parents meant to name you “Junior”.
If you need I campaign manager down here (the late entry doesn’t bother us much, we kinda prefer “late” actually) but if you do need somebody to get out The Word – I suggest Bubba McCoy. He runs the Auto Emporium down in … well I don’t know the name of the town, my guess is, it’s in the Delta. John Brummett say’s he lives 90 miles east and John’s in Conway.
Oh. One last thing. Bumperstickers. Buy a whole bunch of bumperstickers – Arkies love bumperstickers.