I’ve been so busy of late spewing vile, reactionary, hate-filled, racist poison (or simple common sense, depending upon your point of view), that I have neglected another topic of critical import and urgency: butt-ugly deep-sea fishes.
No longer. Tonight I invite you to contemplate the stupefyingly unlovely Psychrolutes marcidus, known to bathypiscophiles the world over (you know who you are) as the incomparable Blobfish. Here he is:
This cheery little fellow lives in the deep water off Australia and Tasmania. You can see at once that he has a natural buoyancy, but what you probably didn’t know is that he achieves it not as most fish do, with an air bladder, but by virtue of a body made almost entirely of a viscous goo, with a density slightly less than that of water.
Unlike we bitter wretches who moil for gold here above, scratching a meager living from the stony soil, the Blob-fish lives a life of comfort and ease in the inky depths. Lacking, due to his gelatinous constitution, any muscle to speak of, he wallows in place without a care, dining on whatever floats by. Small wonder that he has such a merry twinkle in his eye!
Before we say goodbye, let’s peek in on our little friend one last time, as he waits happily for a tasty snack to drift his way: a juicy little worm, perhaps, or a nice piece of whale poo.
Au revoir, M. Blob-fish! Bon appétit!
7 Comments
Uncle Morty??
That fish looks like he’s thinking about something important.
Glad somebody is. I’m thinking of giving it up, myself; it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth.
I’m sure his mother loves him.
Er, she does, doesn’t she?
Oh no, tell me it ain’t so!
Of course she does, David. Don’t you worry.
He’s thinking:
“Why was I banished to this Stygian darkness? I was only following orders.”
Jeffery Hodges
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Actually, as far as blobfish are concerned, this one’s gorgeous. And even a rather plain blobfish is handsome compared to a blogfish.