Motus Mentis

Living as we do in a world of chaos, crime and corruption, we should all thank Heaven for that citadel of Justice, that beacon of moral clarity, the United Nations — and for the courage and forthrightness with which it deals swift and righteous judgment to the world’s
vilest blackguards, reprobates, and scoundrels.

Just today, for example, the Security Council reacted with lightning swiftness — after an interval of less than three-and-a-half months — to the sinking, on March 26th, of the South Korean corvette Cheonan.

How did they respond? A naval blockade, perhaps, or withering sanctions, or even a multilateral occupation? No, no — given the enormity of the offense, this was no occasion for lily-livered half-measures. It was clear to all that the full weight of the International Community’s wrath must this time fall upon the Dear Leader, and so it did. Putting justice before mercy, the Council adopted a Presidential Statement declaring before all the world that the attack was — we just have to come right out and say it — kind of uncool.

The statement wisely stopped short, of course, of actually accusing the North Koreans of attacking the ship; after all, all the Council had to go by was the report of a major international investigation that concluded beyond any doubt that the Cheonan was sunk by the DPRK. And really, when you think about it, anybody might have torpedoed a South Korean naval vessel in disputed territorial waters at the North Korean border — I mean, it could just as easily have been a bunch of kids or something. And we all know how crazy that Kim Jong Il is; you never know what might make him fly off the handle.

But once again, order is restored, and we can all breathe a little easier tonight. That scalawag will certainly think twice before he tries any more of his shifty little schemes!

Thanks, UN!