Readers of these pages will know by now that America, along with Western civilization generally, is most likely headed straight down the toilet. But it wasn’t always so. We’ve been focusing so relentlessly here of late on our accelerating collapse that I thought it might be nice to take a look back at a happier time, when a boundlessly optimistic America confidently and unapologetically led the world in progress and innovation.
I will confess that upon seeing this old footage from those “can-do” days, I had to blink back a tear for what we once were, and what we have become.
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Take heart: can-do Americans are still around. My work on an improved version of the quantum helicopranidal transkinetic nasticulator is almost complete. Once we get the device to break the previously-unbreakable 100-smegmahertz nasticulation barrier, metaquantum prolegomenal auto-exsanguination will take over, and it’s all gravy from there.
Lay off, Kevin — you’ve already convinced me God isn’t omnibenevolent!
Jeffery Hodges
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