From the frontiers of science, here’s some breaking news —
Men, Women Really Do Have Big Personality Differences
— that any human being, plucked from anywhere on Earth at any time between the invention of language and the 1960s or so, and not in a persistent vegetative state, could have told you.
I’m “on the wagon” this month; after an outstandingly well-lubricated holiday season I thought a dry January would have a salubrious and restorative effect. Items like this make it very much more difficult.
5 Comments
Men are smarter than women, but they keep zipped neither their mouths nor their pants. Which is why hell hath no fury like a woman …, er, never mind.
[I’m just keeding!]
Forget “dry January” and stick to ‘dry martinis. They may not do you any good but you will feel better about yourself – for a while, at any rate!
No, David, my resolve is firm.
I knew I had a problem when I got on the scale at the drugstore the other day and a card popped out saying “One at a time, please!”
Later that same day, as I was crossing the street, a man bumped me with his car. I asked him why he hadn’t just gone around me, and he replied that he didn’t think he had enough gas.
So: drastic measures are necessary, I’m afraid.
Malcolm,
Why does it seem that everything I enjoy has the side-effect of adding two pounds to me when I even think about partaking? In this advanced era of smart phones and electric cars can’t someone give me chocolate or alcohol that doesn’t taste like cardboard and has the same calming effect?
If you have no answers for me, I’m going to contact this boy.
http://www.digitfreak.com/technology/digital/913-13-year-old-boy-discovers-new-approach-for-solar-harvesting.html
Now excuse me, I must find the Cheetos.
LH
It’s part of the universal rule that anything enjoyable has, at least potentially, nasty or undesirable side effects. It’s god’s way of funning with you.
But there are various ways of reducing (but never quite eliminating) the intrinsic nastiness. For example, if you love chocolate (and who in their right mind doesn’t?) but can’t handle the sugar, try the latest sugar-free products. As a life-long chocolate lover, I can not tell the difference in taste. But don’t eat too much of it, because it has a laxative effect.