There She Was

Well! It being The Current Year, the beauty pageant “Miss America”, an iconic American institution, has announced that it will no longer be judging contestants on their appearance, and is getting rid of the swimsuit competition. (As “Iowahawk” quipped online: “well, I guess they can move it to radio now.”

We read:

The organization is also getting rid of the evening gown portion of the competition and instead asking contestants to wear attire that makes them feel confident and expresses their personal style. The contestants will also discuss how they will advance their chosen causes, called “social impact initiatives” by the Miss America Organization.

“Social Impact Initiatives”. Check. (Robert Conquest, call your office.)

The contestants will also be asked how to meet five-year Party goals for increased agricultural production and improved worker morale.

5 Comments

  1. c matt says

    The last one “by showing up to factories in a bikini.”

    Posted June 5, 2018 at 5:51 pm | Permalink
  2. Whitewall says

    During the show, I hope the crowd is packed with vocal SJWs.

    Posted June 5, 2018 at 6:38 pm | Permalink
  3. Malcolm says

    Robert,

    Nowadays, what isn’t?

    Posted June 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm | Permalink
  4. Epicaric says

    I won’t be able to look away. Year one ratings will skyrocket as eyes are fixed on the train wreck. With the novelty gone, year two ratings will collapse. By year three it will turn to the transgendered and obese, rivaling PT Barnum’s sideshows.

    Posted June 5, 2018 at 8:43 pm | Permalink
  5. Malcolm says

    Amazingly, somehow we haven’t yet had a Miss America with man-parts and a beard.

    Shouldn’t be long now, though.

    Posted June 5, 2018 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

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