Here’s the perfect gift for Mom: a vibrator on a necklace. An ad for the product says “Created by a woman to spark both conversations and feelings of empowerment”, while the online blurb refers to the object’s “forward-looking approach”.
How, exactly, are these conversations supposed to go?
HE: “Hi, nice to meet you. I see you like to masturbate!”
SHE: “Yes, I love to masturbate — so much that I never seem to be able to wait until I get home. In fact, I get so eager to masturbate that I can’t even take the time to open my purse!”
HE: “Wow, that’s really interesting. Good to know!”
SHE: “Yes — and what’s more, I want everyone I meet to know that I really, really like to masturbate. It’s something I’m really proud of.”
HE: “I bet it feels… what’s the word… empowering!”
SHE: “Yes! As a woman who loves to masturbate, now I have the power to masturbate anytime I want. And with the Crave vibrator right on my necklace, I know that everybody I meet is going to have to think about that! That makes me feel special, and important.”
HE: “It’s forward-looking, too. And hey, you know what? I’m looking forward to a time when we can all just, you know, masturbate!”
SHE: “Well, of course you are! Isn’t everyone?”
TOGETHER: “YOU BET!! [laughter]”
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You just knew this would be next:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/doctors-warn-against-putting-parsley-13873257
There was a time, in the 70’s, when it was not unusual to see a woman wearing a coke spoon necklace.
Dropped by awhile ago and found myself dumbstruck.
Fortunately I came across some pretty damn funny Trump/Pelosi cartoons:
https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2019/01/the-week-in-pictures-house-of-carbs-edition.php
And there’s an especial bonus – scroll down to the one picturing Keith Richards,
https://thesouthtexaspistolero.wordpress.com/2019/01/19/wtfever-billy/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/12/27/the-embittered-sexual-market/