Excelsior!

I know that many of you may have been worrying lately about the possibility of some sort of national, or even civilizational, decline. But you should always remember that, as bad as things may seem economically and politically, our popular culture continues to raise the bar for excellence in the fine arts.

So, to lift your spirits a bit, here’s musician ‘Ice Spice’, performing her latest composition, “Think U the Shit (Fart)”:

I know you’ll want to sing along, so here are the lyrics:

[Intro]
What the fuck I’ma say in the intro?
Hahaha
You want me to say somethin’ so bad
(Stop playin’ with ’em, Riot)
Can you, please?

[Chorus]
Think you the shit, bitch?
You not even the fart (Grrah)
I be goin’ hard (Grrah)
I’m breakin’ they hearts, like
Bitches be quick, but I’m quicker (Like)
Bitches be thick, but I’m thicker (Like)
She could be rich, but I’m richer (Damn)

[Verse 1]
Take-takin’ her man (Takin’ her man)
Don’t give a fuck (Don’t give a fuck)
Out in the Yams (Out in the Yams)
And I’m keepin’ one tucked (Keepin’ one tucked)
I make me some jams (I make me some jams)
Unlock that advance (Unlock that advance)
I said four hundred bands (I said four hundred bands)
Just to do my lil’ dance (Grrah)
Bitch, I’m a brand (Like)
Bitch, I’m a baddie, I get what I want (Damn)
All in Balenci’, I look like a bum
I got the jatty, he just wanna hump (Hump)
Walk through and start shakin’ my hips
I’ma dip when I stack all my chips (Like)
Strip a dummy, I want the whole ‘fit
I got a French nigga sendin’ me tips, grrah

[Chorus]
Think you the shit, bitch?
You not even the fart (Grrah)
I be goin’ hard (Grrah)
I’m breakin’ they hearts, like
Bitches be quick, but I’m quicker (Like)
Bitches be thick, but I’m thicker (Like)
She could be rich, but I’m richer (Damn)

[Verse 2]
His bitch at home playin’ dress-up (Huh?)
She must’ve thought she could catch up (Grrah)
I got my foot on they necks, I can’t let up (Grrah)
She all on the floor, told her get up (Get up)
She my son, but I ain’t her mammy (I ain’t her mammy)
Bitches can’t stand me (Bitches can’t stand me)
Eat through my panties (Eat through my panties)
Hard knock life, no Annie
I need a vacay, I’m losin’ my tan (Damn)
I’d lose anything before my man
I’m a pretty bitch, I don’t like fightin’
On the beat, I’m goin’ Super Saiyan (Grrah)
I said, “Mirror, mirror, who the fairest?” (Huh?)
Leave a bum nigga lookin’ embarrassed (Like)
Spent a hundred-fifty on some carats (Grrah)
That shit cray like them niggas in Paris

[Chorus]
Think you the shit, bitch?
You not even the fart (Grrah)
I be goin’ hard (Grrah)
I’m breakin’ they hearts (Like)
Bitches be quick, but I’m quicker (Like)
Bitches be thick, but I’m thicker (Like)
She could be rich, but I’m richer (Damn)

4 Comments

  1. James says

    Is this better?
    I know it is! America at its finest but may have disappeared.
    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/1754382171463434421?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

    Posted February 6, 2024 at 6:47 pm | Permalink
  2. Malcolm says

    Yep, that’s better.

    Posted February 6, 2024 at 6:52 pm | Permalink
  3. I couldn’t read to the end. I hope you haven’t heard “WAP” by Cardi B; it would give you an aneurysm.

    Also, I’m happy to see you’re still here! xo

    Posted February 6, 2024 at 8:41 pm | Permalink
  4. Malcolm says

    Sister Wolf! Lovely to see you again. I hope you are well.

    Oh, I know all about WAP, I’m sorry to say, and yes, this little ditty is “I’ve Got A Brand New Pair Of Roller-Skates” compared to that.

    Perhaps the worst thing I’ve seen recently, though, was the “Unholy” performance from last year’s Grammys. This stuff is just stupid and vulgar, but that was something much darker.

    Ah well…being old has its consolations, I suppose, but watching trends in popular culture isn’t one of them.

    Posted February 7, 2024 at 12:06 am | Permalink

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