In a development that has medical and longevity experts scratching their heads, the recording/mixing engineer, former martial-arts instructor, acidulous opinionator, and bibulous curmudgeon Malcolm Pollack celebrated his 68th birthday on April 13th.
Asked to comment, one leading expert said that the news has “made us wonder if we have to re-examine some of our most basic ideas about what the human body can withstand — especially when it comes to beer-drinking, putting up with bothersome people, and enduring the stupidity of mass culture. I mean, let’s face it: according to our current theories, this guy should never even have made it to fifty, let alone sixty-eight. We really have no idea what’s made this possible, but I will say that at this point we can’t rule out that it might simply be something to do with sheer bloody-mindedness.”
Adult-beverage stocks, both in the U.S. and worldwide, rallied on the news.
6 Comments
What can I say? Oh wait, I know… Happy Birthday, Malcolm! :-)
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Curiously enough you share a birthday with Christopher Hitchens, although I suspect even your BAC Malcolm never quite approached the level of the late journalist. (Also a fairly famous Founding Father was born on the thirteenth.) Anyway, all the best.
Thanks! Also born on this day:
Guy Fawkes, Thomas Jefferson, F.W. Woolworth, James Ensor, Butch Cassidy, Sir Arthur “Bomber’ Harris, Robert Watson-Watt, Samuel Beckett, Harold Stassen, Stanislaw Ulam, Eudora Welty, Howard Keel, Madalyn Murray O’Hair, Ken Nordine, Don Adams, Ben Nighthorse Campbell, Seamus Heaney, Paul Sorvino, Jack Casady, Tony Dow, Lowell George, Al Green, Ron Perlman, Max Weinberg, and Garry Kasparov.
Happy birthday Malcolm! Hope you have at least 68 more.
I’m no expert, so I’m not as stunned as I may look and feel. As I age I find I value the mundane and ordinary more and more. Eventually that strategy leads to exorbitant ebullience over the miracle of being able to get outta bed. Do continue to overindulge in the simple and good pleasures you enjoy, and may all who surround you truly appreciate the many gifts and blessings you bestow without even trying, and you, them. Beware the wall that approaches, the heavy gate that will need lifting, but hedge against it with all the means at your disposal, even with blissful detachment at the futility of all our devices and manipulations. Happy Birthday!
A delightful post, Malcolm.
The human body is astonishingly resilient. Frank Sinatra once remarked that after the gig, he and his cronies did not go home, say three Hail Marys and go to sleep. It was then that the party began. And while some, like Bogart, died young from the self-abuse, others like Sinatra made it into their 80s. So there is hope for you, son.