According to this news item from the Russian news agency Novosti, the Belgian region of Wallonia has found a potent weapon against human-induced climate change: a tax on barbecueing. As I’m sure our readers are well aware, a session at the grill can produce up to 50 grams of carbon dioxide. But rest easy: the glaciers will soon be advancing once again, now that carnivorous Walloons will have to fork over 20 Euros to the government before they can heat their meat.
How will the new policy be enforced, you ask? By helicopters wielding thermal sensors.
As James Taranto (to whom we tip our hat for the story) points out: “Good thing helicopters don’t emit any CO2!”
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I guess law enforcement in Wallonia has trained police dogs to bark when they sniff barbecues beside cocaine. Or they just stop selling charcoals, therefore smuggling charcoal into Wallonia will be a very exciting and profitable business for all immigrant gangsters from North Africa or East Europe or Chinese.
There’s nothing quite like the thrill of slipping through customs, abdomen abulge with twenty pounds of Kingsford briquets stuffed into lubricated condoms. Gives new meaning to “the old coal chute”.