Motus Mentis

20 Comments

1. the one eyed man says

   Well, God’s promises were made before Idi Amin, whose title, in part, is “His Excellency, President for Life … Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular”

   Pretty catchy title. I’m wondering if the job is still open now that he’s been dead for eight years.

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 1:19 pm | Permalink
2. TheBigHenry says

   Catchy, indeed. But even Idi’s title pales by comparison to the announcement of the Lone Ranger:

   Hi-Yo Silver – A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver … the Lone Ranger!

   With his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early West. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. The Lone Ranger rides again!

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 5:15 pm | Permalink
3. the one eyed man says

   I’ve given the matter some thought, and upon reflection being Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas is a worthy goal – and would make my Mom darn proud – but, as a guitarist once said, my goal’s beyond.

   That’s right: I’ve decided that it would be totally cool if I were beatified. While there may already be a St. Peter, I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if the masses decided to pray to St. Pete. I figure I deserve nothing less.

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 7:56 pm | Permalink
4. JK says

   Reminded me somehow of a “childhood friend” who used to put heavy duty (axle) grease on the backside of the doorhandle on my pickup.

   Don’t know whether you have those “old-fashioned” spring closing doors on front porches, but “Howard” was deathly afraid of snakes. Removed from the porch screendoor, the spring blended in doggone well with the floorboard of a ’52 Chevy dumptruck.

   First gear on the dumptruck was left and back, to shift into second required a fairly mighty “heave ho” push to neutral, slight movement to the right, then another “heave ho” push forward.

   I attached one end of the spring to the shift lever, attached to the other, a rubber snake and hid it under the seat. Fortunately a middlin’ sized tree stopped the truck after it’s driver abruptly left in a hurry.

   No more axle grease.

   Still had to watch out for “Howard” though.

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 8:03 pm | Permalink
5. JK says

   If anybody has “Saint Pete’s” address – send me an email.

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 8:08 pm | Permalink
6. TheBigHenry says

   The address for Saint Pete, AKA Pete Domenici, former US Senator from New Mexico, is:

   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Domenici

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 8:41 pm | Permalink
7. the one eyed man says

   Pete Domenici? What does he have that I don’t have?

   OK, a foreskin. Besides that.

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 8:53 pm | Permalink
8. TheBigHenry says

   Domenici was Senator (along with Bingaman) when I lived in Los Alamos. I wouldn’t know about his foreskin, but he was called St. Pete because he brought home the bacon for the Laboratory, something you, Peter, probably don’t have (not if you’re kosher).

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 9:12 pm | Permalink
9. the one eyed man says

   My adherence to Judaism – and pretty much everything else – ceases at personal inconvenience. And I’d be mightily inconvenienced if I couldn’t eat shrimp, lobster, crabs, cheeseburgers, oysters, baby back ribs, pork sausages, and, of course, bacon.

   Give up all that porcine goodness? You’re kidding me, right>

   Posted October 29, 2011 at 9:35 pm | Permalink
10. TheBigHenry says

    You had me at “bacon”, Peter. I knew that, eventually, you and I would find something we could agree on!

    Posted October 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm | Permalink
11. Malcolm says

    Speaking of bacon, a question: when did Congress pass the law requiring that all bacon has to be “Applewood Smoked”?

    Posted October 29, 2011 at 10:50 pm | Permalink
12. JK says

    It may be due to Presbyterian upbringing or just lack of the correct understanding but,

    “Give up all that porcine goodness?”

    I’ve heard a hog get called a shrimp but I never heard a shrimp get listed as “porcine goodness.”

    Posted October 29, 2011 at 10:52 pm | Permalink
13. Malcolm says

    What you guys need to try is “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Treyf!”

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 12:03 am | Permalink
14. TheBigHenry says

    My parents were not religious and I was not brought up to be either. We did not restrict ourselves to kosher food. Hence, I have been eating bacon cheeseburgers forever. This, as you can imagine, is not kosher on many levels.

    My wife, who is a shiksa, doesn’t like me eating too many burgers because they aren’t particularly healthy. But she allows me to have a bacon cheeseburger once a week, bless her health-conscious little heart.

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 1:31 am | Permalink
15. Horace Jeffery Hodges says

    St. Pete has a foreskin? Hell, I don’t even have one of those! Mine was excised on the eighth day after birth . . .

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 5:39 am | Permalink
16. TheBigHenry says

    HJH,

    I think Peter assumes “St. Pete” has his foreskin because Domenici is Catholic. But I am not sure such an assumption is valid in the United States, where most infant boys are circumcised (though not necessarily on the eighth day), regardless of religious beliefs.

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 11:03 am | Permalink
17. Horace Jeffery Hodges says

    Eighth day aside (merely random in my case, anyway), most infant boys in the States are circumcised, as you note — or used to be, prior to the foreskin police — so Pete Domenici is likely missing his as well.

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 3:02 pm | Permalink
18. TheBigHenry says

    I think it was Lincoln who gave impetus to this American tradition when he recounted, to the good people of Gettysburg, the cultural traditions of his ancestors:

    “Foreskins and severed ears and toes, our fathers brought forth on this continent …”

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 4:29 pm | Permalink
19. Horace Jeffery Hodges says

    A sound hearmeneutic . . .

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 4:45 pm | Permalink
20. TheBigHenry says

    Hear, hear!

    Posted October 30, 2011 at 4:53 pm | Permalink